DETROIT–General Motors has entered the record books yet again. It is the first automobile maker to send a truck into earth’s orbit.

Early Christmas Eve, GM launched a 2010 Chevy Avalanche—with a boat in tow—from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. According to our source close to the project, it was a move to convey a message of the car’s dependability and to test the Avalanche’s towing capacity under extreme weather conditions. Tom Wickham, a Communications Manager for six GM manufacturing plants, tweeted  “the truck only needed one full tank of gas to make the trek from the earth into orbit. Now that’s some good gas mileage!”

As soon as the news broke, the president of Toyota Motors, the company behind the Prius, was quoted as saying “Oh crap!” while eating dinner with his family for Toyota’s annual Christmas Party last week. “The fact that we sent one of our trucks into orbit should show our buyers that our brand can hold its own under the toughest conditions,” says Susan Docherty, VP of Sales and Marketing for GM. “If this doesn’t prove to people that we have the toughest cars on earth, then nothing will.”

A team of scientists will be monitoring the truck for the next three weeks, but the final test will come January 6^th, when the truck is expected to re-enter the earth’s atmosphere without burning up into a million pieces.

Being that this is my first post on the RealCollegeTour blog, I just wanted to establish how prophetic I am. No biggie, here are my predictions for next year.

10. In light of the Twilight craze, Miller Brewing Co. will attempt to capitalize on the phenomenon with a new beer: Twilite

9. With the U.S. racking up its debt substantially, the government will turn to sponsors to get them through the financial crisis. For the next five years the U.S. will be known as “The United States of America sponsored by Pepsi: Capitalism has never been this refreshing.”

8. Kim Jong-Il will poke Barack Obama on facebook. Barack in turn will nuke him via facebook. Kim Jong-Il’s response, “Dude wtf n00b. I’m unfriending you.”

7. NASA will craft an expensive and daring mission to Mars costing taxpayers billions of dollars. Upon stepping foot on the Martian surface, Sarah Palin will say, “I just wanted to thank you for believing that I was the most qualified person to do this.” NASA will respond, “No, we just wanted to get you off earth, that’s all.”

6. The Afghanistan War will come to an end with a peaceful resolution when the United States hands the Taliban its Holographic Charizard Pokemon Card. Barack Obama will be quoted as saying, “This better be worth it.”

5. Ramen Noodles will be forced to put a surgeon general’s warning on their labels stating, “If you are a not a college student or a struggling artist you will die a horrible death from eating this.”

4. Jay Leno’s chin will secede from his face causing an all out civil war between him and his chin. Eventually, Jay Leno will prevail letting the chin come back to the Union peacefully.

3. Michael Bay will finally make the movie that he has been working on for twenty years. The title? “Explosions in Slow Motion with Hot Chicks” The movie will be an adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book.

2. R2D2 and H1N1 will finally tie the knot after years of courtship. The following is an excerpt from R2D2’s vows, “Beep Bop Beep Boop.”

1. Nickelback will break up spawning the most expensive recovery effort in history.