I am a hermit. Not the old fashioned kind where they live in a cave in the forest and eat bugs but in the sense that on the rare occasion I can stay holed up alone in my apartment to watch TV all day I take it. (The day is especially good if an SVU marathon is on.) On the average hermit day I’ll wear big socks, fleece sweatpants and a hoodie (that 99% of the time don’t match at all) and maybe even a hat, camp out on the couch with a blanket and my computer and watch TV all day with my cat.  If I’m feeling especially cold though I’ll break out my newly gifted Snuggie courtesy of my grandma (because they always have the warmest clothes). Not the most exciting thing to do, but the sweet sweet act of doing absolutely nothing is wonderful after a semester of school. Even the simple act of cooking food seems strenuous and as we get further into winter and the temperature drops the idea of putting on real clothes and braving the snow (even if there is only an inch outside) seems like the worst possible idea. That’s what home delivery was invented for right?

Staying in all day though breeds an inescapable sense of laziness. A laziness so intense and so epic if may result in an over drafting fee from not doing needed chores like going to the bank which most responsible people would do. I however remain on the internet and surfing basic cable channels while contemplating big decisions like should I nap now or later?

Despite the alarming thought that this may be a series of practice runs for a lifetime of being a cat lady I relish these days when for one there is absolutely no reason why I should leave my house and sit steadfast on the couch because seemingly “important” chores like transferring money and doing laundry can certainly wait another day. And if I don’t keep up with the Kardashians who will?

My roommate Al may have possibly discovered the single most helpful homework catalyst we’ll ever know. It is not a work ethic, nor is it a secret study locale, but a song. Specifically, “The Final Countdown.”
Now we don’t know why this is the magic work song, but ever since it was discovered Al’s used it every time as a fail safe to finish a paper with an hour to due date. But how did she stumble across this jewel of knowledge you may ask? Much like many discoveries that change the world, it was an accident. She is a big fan of playing music while doing homework and realized she’s more productive while this song has reached the almost blasphemous stage of a homework Messiah. She has played it on loop for a solid half an hour as a fight song of finishing homework. As of now, she has played it a total of 59 times (the length is 5 minutes and 9 seconds). That’s ~304 hours of sweet sweet countdown.

Now it may seem trivial or maybe not even that funny. But now treating “The Final Countdown” as the sound track to accompany the last stand against homework I dare you not to feel productive. Or that by attempting conversation you would risk having your head ripped off by a jittery overcaffeinated perfectionist. Though in reality, who isn’t amidst that techno beat?