Literary London is a six- week program for English students to go study in America’s estranged homeland. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Mainly at this stage its all questions. I tend to love this phase. The part of the story when no one quite knows what will happen.  Everything I know is followed by a question.

I know we are staying in apartments. Will I get along with the other girls who will be in mine? What if they only want to go to bars and clubs and never do anything else?

I know that I have to get on a plane for the first time ever. How should I best go about not having a panic attack? Medication to make me sleep the whole time or maybe a good book that I have already read so I can fall into a nice comfortable story? Anyway, I just need to keep from gripping the seat and screaming.

I know we will have a lot of free time to explore. Will I be fine to explore solo? I should maybe look into the crime rate…and invest in pepper spray. I tend to like to wander around. It’s my favorite thing to do in a new place.

I know I don’t want any travel guides. Is this really a good idea? Really, none? Maybe. I don’t want to be too caught up in trying to see what everyone else thinks I should see.

The truth of the matter is right now is a perfect time to study abroad. With the economy’s downturn in the past few years the number of students applying for study abroad programs is down. Also, due to the economy it is easier to get financial aide for school of any kind, and yes that includes studying abroad. I have wanted to do this for a really long time and am finally getting the chance…in a way, because of the terrible economy. So give it a try, talk to your financial aide advisor and pick a program.

Next week TLC will premier their new show: “Extreme Home Makeover College Edition.” TLC Spokesman Bill Mellencamp was quoted saying that “the show’s intent is to break the pernicious stereotype that TLC is only for depressed homemakers trying to live vicariously through television programming.” In further questioning, Mellencamp went on to say that, “The S.P. house was a challenging and somewhat disheartening case. The house was in such utter disrepair.” Residents of the house were quick to assert, however, that the disarray of the building was not due to neglect; but rather a pioneering effort to “go green.”

In their selfless quest to save the environment; S.P. has neglected to make any modifications to the house. The eco-friendly brothers even chose not to install mandatory fire sprinklers so as not to “waste water.” In addition to being home to “the sickest parties,” the building is also home to a host of native species. In an effort to live symbiotically with nature; S.P. graciously permits numerous species of mold, mildew, and marijuana to grow freely throughout the residence. The brothers added that such plant life “adds a more natural feel” to a building which might otherwise be mistaken for a tenement house.

While the Sigma Pi frathouse is a gem in its own right; viewers who prize dramatic before and after shows may be disappointed. Due to budgeting constraints, TLC was only able to make “urgent revisions” to the house such as pest extermination, safety upgrades, and foundational repairs.

Being that this is my first post on the RealCollegeTour blog, I just wanted to establish how prophetic I am. No biggie, here are my predictions for next year.

10. In light of the Twilight craze, Miller Brewing Co. will attempt to capitalize on the phenomenon with a new beer: Twilite

9. With the U.S. racking up its debt substantially, the government will turn to sponsors to get them through the financial crisis. For the next five years the U.S. will be known as “The United States of America sponsored by Pepsi: Capitalism has never been this refreshing.”

8. Kim Jong-Il will poke Barack Obama on facebook. Barack in turn will nuke him via facebook. Kim Jong-Il’s response, “Dude wtf n00b. I’m unfriending you.”

7. NASA will craft an expensive and daring mission to Mars costing taxpayers billions of dollars. Upon stepping foot on the Martian surface, Sarah Palin will say, “I just wanted to thank you for believing that I was the most qualified person to do this.” NASA will respond, “No, we just wanted to get you off earth, that’s all.”

6. The Afghanistan War will come to an end with a peaceful resolution when the United States hands the Taliban its Holographic Charizard Pokemon Card. Barack Obama will be quoted as saying, “This better be worth it.”

5. Ramen Noodles will be forced to put a surgeon general’s warning on their labels stating, “If you are a not a college student or a struggling artist you will die a horrible death from eating this.”

4. Jay Leno’s chin will secede from his face causing an all out civil war between him and his chin. Eventually, Jay Leno will prevail letting the chin come back to the Union peacefully.

3. Michael Bay will finally make the movie that he has been working on for twenty years. The title? “Explosions in Slow Motion with Hot Chicks” The movie will be an adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book.

2. R2D2 and H1N1 will finally tie the knot after years of courtship. The following is an excerpt from R2D2’s vows, “Beep Bop Beep Boop.”

1. Nickelback will break up spawning the most expensive recovery effort in history.

With the rate of college suicides on the rise some schools are starting specific programs in order to help their students deal with stress. But in this time of our lives where we are supposed to be focused on enjoying ourselves (with a little bit of studying tossed in) and creating a future for ourselves what can go so drastically wrong?

Right now a lot of people are blaming it all on the economy. Students need funding now more than ever and it isn’t always available. Also with the decrease in jobs a college student could look at their future and see a whole lot of nothing. It’s hard to go through the typical four years with fear that you may not be able to get a job once you graduate.

Most schools have their own suicide prevention hotlines and counselors to unload your doubts on. Is this enough? Depression is a terrible thing and a lot of students don’t want to go talk to a professor or parent or anyone about their feelings.

There are several things that a student can do by themselves to help combat depression and suicidal thoughts. The main thing is to try to stay positive. Last year I couldn’t get funding for school. My family was in a bad place financially and my life felt like it was out of control. To be honest there were a lot of days that I didn’t want to get out of bed at all, much less socialize. I found a few websites that made me feel better and they helped me put things into perspective (at least a little bit).

One, of course, is postsecret.blogspot.com. A lot of people have said that this website has helped them with depression. Post Secret is a website where people from all over send in their secrets to share online. It can definitely make a person feel less alone.

Another, sadly, is icanhascheezburger.com. I hate to admit it but LOLcats can always make me feel better. Cute cats, funny captions, what’s not to love? Seriously, just try it on a bad day. (p.s. don’t judge me!)

Then there is givesmehope.com, This site is amazing. It is exactly how it sounds. People post things that happened to them that gave them hope. It does a lot to remind its readers that not everything is crashing and burning.

If you are depressed, try to get help. Even if that help is telling a close friend so that they can help make your day brighter. College is only a few years out of your life, enjoy it, your whole future is waiting for you on the other end.

Unless you’re a Rockefeller descendant, lottery winner attending an in-state university on a full ride scholarship, you’re a broke college student. Get over it; besides the aforementioned nonexistent example, college kids are expected to be poor.

As December creeps closer, rent and food money are no longer the biggest issues. It’s holiday season, which means you’re obligated to buy people things. That, or suffer the consequence of being labelled a heartless bitch. Your choice. Just keep in mind that picking the latter means you’re a heartless, selfish bitch. But whatever, still your choice…

Anyway, as always, I’m here to show you the ropes. Here is your personal guide to avoid wasting booze money on Christmas presents to cool, cheap, unique gifts!

For your friends: Mix CDs. Even though your friends can probably find and illegally download any song ever recorded on the internet, not much beats the high school flavored nostalgia of a good ol’ mix CD. (If you need help filling gaps in your playlist, plug in some songs you irrationally assume were written about you and your friends).

For your mother: A drawing. You’re not an artist? Not even remotely problematic. Hand her your archaic rendering of something sappy (two different animals displaying their unlikely friendship perhaps?) and say it took you weeks to finish. Tell her it reminds you of your powerful, impermeable relationship; moms eat that shit up.

For your father: One coupon to take you fishing/golfing/something outdoorsy whenever he wants. This gift is thoughtful and also suggests a desire for father-child bonding. Don’t worry about following up on your promise; utilize the same techniques you used to get out of these events for the past 20 years. That is a last resort; hopefully after a while he’ll just forget.

For the weird uncle: A miscellaneous object. Pick up a strange, foreign object from a dirty street. Give it to your uncle. Make a wild claim about how the drummer from White Snake used the object to wipe the sweat off his ride cymbal. Casually add how vicious the bidding on eBay was to get it.

For your little cousins: Last semester’s textbooks. Wrap up the now outdated textbooks your school’s STUPID bookstore refuses to buy back. When your cousins rip through the wrapping paper, tell that those books are the stuff college kids read and reading them will make you a super genius. They’ll love it for like two seconds until they open the next present. Whatever, your little cousins are annoying anyway, good enough.

For the remaining (siblings, significant others, co-workers, etc): Tell them their gifts are on the way. Excessively complain about how Amazon miscalculates it’s shipping estimates. After you’ve open your stash of holiday presents from your “loved ones”, re-gift all the crappy stuff. Will anyone ever find you out? No, never. Everyone wins.

Using my guide, you’ll save enough money for another semester’s worth of nightly 2 a.m. pizza runs textbooks. Happy gift-giving!

If you have 1000+ friends on your facebook and/or a ton of followers on twitter, we’ll pay you to promote us to your friends. You’ll get $20 for literally 3 minutes of work.

How it works:

1. You become a facebook fan of our website.
2. Suggest the fan page to your friends.
3. We’ll give you a unique link & a discount code on your facebook feed & your twitter.
4. Provide proof of how many friends you have and proof that you promoted RealCollegeTour.com (e.g. email a jpeg or pdf of a screenshot).
5. You’ll get paid through paypal upon completion.

This can be you after promoting RealCollegeTour.com

Why are we doing this?

We’re always looking at unique ways to market our website. Social networks are definitely a great approach.

Email us at questions@realcollegetour.com with questions or if you want to get started!