By Leslee Horner

Blog: “Waiting for the Click”  http://lesleehorner.wordpress.com/

Follow Leslee on Twitter: http://twitter.com/lesleeHorner

My sophomore year of college started out just like my freshman year…living in a dorm room with my friend, Amy.  That second year, however, I played 3rd wheel to Amy’s boyfriend.  After a couple of weeks of it, I became intolerant and moved into a single room a few floors up.  It was the first time I had truly lived alone and to celebrate my new found privacy I started sleeping topless.  It soon became a “must” part of my sleeping ritual…well at least until the night of the shower curtain.

In my third year of college, Amy and I lived next door to each other in single rooms on our sorority’s floor in Sanford Hall.  Because our hall was made up completely of sisters, we rarely locked our doors.  The catch though, is if the doors were locked, they only locked from the outside.  If you exited your room and wanted it locked or unlocked you had to be sure to check the knob on the outside.

During Spring Break of that third year of college, I stayed in the dorms while most of my friends went home or to the beach.  As always, I found someone to party with.  Upon returning to the dorms one evening, I was impaired.  Just like every other night I stripped down to my night time uniform and went to sleep.  But seeing as I’d had a lot to drink I woke up to use the restroom.  Since my room was directly across from the bathroom (and the hall was inhabited by my closest friends) I had made a habit of hopping into the bathroom at night while simply shielding my chest with my arms.  It had never failed me, until this particular night.  I left my dorm room, heard the door slam behind me, and instantly froze.  OH SHIT!  I knew the door was locked.  The door was locked and as far as I knew EVERYONE was gone!  I was standing in the middle of the bathroom, wearing nothing but my panties and completely panicking.  Eventually I noticed the shower curtain and my only solution to being without clothes.  I took it down from the bar and wrapped it around my body.  Once I was fully covered I proceeded to go door to door (at about 3AM) knocking and praying that someone would answer.  Eventually and luckily, one of my sorority sisters (an older sister who rarely partied) came sleepily to her door.  I think by then I was crying and honestly don’t even remember her reaction.  What I do remember is that her solution to my lack of clothing was to give me a small, satin bathrobe.  I put on the robe, while wishing it was sweatpants and a t-shirt, and she escorted me across campus to the other dorm to get a spare key.  Signing out that key while wearing a silk robe that obviously had nothing under it was almost as embarrassing as going door to door wearing a shower curtain.  But I did get back into my room that night and put on clothes.

Moral of the story is never leave your dorm room without clothes on!

Here’s the video for the song “National Anthem 2.0″ by our friends Rock Star Super Star Project. The song was written with the military, police, and firefighters in mind.

An emotional, heartfelt, and hair-raising modern tribute to The Star-Spangled Banner, thats carried by a voice of unmatched depth and maturity and supported by an awe-inspiring musical arrangement. The ultimate tribute to our National Anthem.

You can read more about twin brothers Rock Star and Super Star here:

www.rockstarsuperstarproject.com/

From the outside, we transfer students may look happy and content and adapting well to our new surroundings. Unfortunately, things are never as they seem.

Ten times out of ten, life sucks for the transfer student, but we don’t know anyone well enough to be consoled. Some things are implied when we tell you we’re transfer students. Next time, pick our hints up.

When I say I’m a transfer student, I’m really saying…

-I don’t care if you’re interested or not, you’re going to listen to me compare this school to my old one. It’s gunna happen.

-I have zero friends and I know no one.

-I was forced to room with a random for the second consecutive year and am not particularly psyched about it.

-I don’t know where anything is but have too much shame to ask.

-I’m eternally pissed that none of my credits transferred. Don’t bring it up.

-I’m no better than a freshman, but I will go out of my way to prevent them from learning that.

-Please hang out with me.

Families are great and all but sometimes they can be a little too much, especially in highly concentrated doses. Here are some tips to make the holiday experience just a little more manageable.

1. Eggnog: Sure, you may tell crazy aunt Martha she smells like wet dog but at least you will feel good about it. If you drink just any drink the family may throw around words like alcoholic but if you generously partake in the eggnog then you’re just festive.
2. New hobbies: Tell them that this past semester you really got into meditation and must be left alone for hours to align your chi.
3. Noise cancellation headphones: Enough said.
4. Strep: let them know via email/letter/Morse code that you have come down with strep/laryngitis/ any throat condition and have no voice.
5. Story time: The more terrible college stories they here from you the better you will look. Take the time out to share the stories about your alcoholic roommate or your slutty roommate or even your alcoholic slutty roommate. You will look exponentially better in comparison.

Happy Holidays….

DETROIT–General Motors has entered the record books yet again. It is the first automobile maker to send a truck into earth’s orbit.

Early Christmas Eve, GM launched a 2010 Chevy Avalanche—with a boat in tow—from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. According to our source close to the project, it was a move to convey a message of the car’s dependability and to test the Avalanche’s towing capacity under extreme weather conditions. Tom Wickham, a Communications Manager for six GM manufacturing plants, tweeted  “the truck only needed one full tank of gas to make the trek from the earth into orbit. Now that’s some good gas mileage!”

As soon as the news broke, the president of Toyota Motors, the company behind the Prius, was quoted as saying “Oh crap!” while eating dinner with his family for Toyota’s annual Christmas Party last week. “The fact that we sent one of our trucks into orbit should show our buyers that our brand can hold its own under the toughest conditions,” says Susan Docherty, VP of Sales and Marketing for GM. “If this doesn’t prove to people that we have the toughest cars on earth, then nothing will.”

A team of scientists will be monitoring the truck for the next three weeks, but the final test will come January 6^th, when the truck is expected to re-enter the earth’s atmosphere without burning up into a million pieces.

Despite Homeland Security’s best efforts, a recent press release from the Pentagon reveals that a domestic army is forming. Their uniform: tight jeans, pea coats, and berets. Their mission: to derail the foundations of popular American media. Their name: Alternative.

While Defense Secretary Kirby Henderson does admit that; “the fighters themselves are not intimidating,” (a typical soldier has a slender build, 1% body fat, and negligible upper body strength), the “weapons which the movement controls are cause for concern.”

Further research reveals that the large force (about 40% of small liberal arts colleges), is in possession of a large number of W.M.D.s (Weapons of Mass Dispersion). Notable units in the arsenal include; popular Lemonheads albums, movies featured at the Sundance Film Festival, and fair trade coffee shops.
Ruth Perret-Goluboff, leader of the movement, told us that; “our goal is to inundate the public with avant garde forms of entertainment which stimulate the senses and soul.” In an effort to combat this threat, Washington has allocated over $40 billion to promote mainstream forms of media. Popular band Nickelback received a portion of such funds. In response to this news, lead singer Chad Kroeger was quoted saying that ;“it’s an honor serve one’s country.” Nickelback is already working hard to promote their newest “American” single; “Look at this Pornograph.”

While current estimates vary as to the fallout this new-wave of resistance will cause, experts are confident that the American way of life will be preserved. Those wanting to avoid threat of conversion by the fighters should avoid vegan bakeries, stores selling clove cigarettes, and poetry slams.

We all know that times are rough. Every dollar counts. This is why we are tinkering with a concept known as “microscholarships.” We can’t say that we created the term, but we hope that other companies will follow in our path and make more microscholarships available to students.

We’ve created a contest that is giving out $100 microscholarships to ten (10) entrants.

Plus, we’re making it VERY EASY to enter. It’ll probably only take you 30 seconds to submit an entry to win a $100 microscholarship.


In a nutshell, here’s HOW IT WORKS:


1. Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/realcollegetour).

2. Send us a Tweet telling us why you deserve one of our microscholarships or why you want one of them. It’ll look something like this:


3. The contest ends at 11:59 p.m. EDT on January 31, 2010. This means your Tweet must be in by then.

4. You can Tweet as many submissions as you want.

5. Entries will be judged on the “originality” and the “entertainment value” of the Tweet. Make them wise, clever, and/or fun!

6. All  ten (10) Winners will be announced on February 14th, 2010. We’ll contact the winners via Twitter, so don’t be a stranger!

Don’t forget to tell all your friends and family about the scholarship!

For more info, go to the Twitter MicroScholarship Page.

There was a time I wanted to be an astronaut, a doctor, or the next Ron Jeremy. Over the years my aspirations have become even loftier. Now my ultimate goal in life is to make it to the front page of Digg. There’s nothing that would please me more than for the “Digg Effect” to overload my servers and lead to a 404 Error. Non-diggers will never understand, but real, bleeding heart diggers around the world know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here’s a list of 5 things I’ve acquired on my journey to Digg Enlightenment:

1. I have a love/hate relationship with Power Users. We all know who they are (i.e. MrBabyMan, msaleem,badwithcomputer, anderzole, mklopez, and most recently Oatmeal). Each of them has the godlike power to make even the following title hit the front page: “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet.” Deep down inside I secretly want to be one of them for a day, though. I want one of my submissions to have 300 comments, where 30% are remotely relevant, 20% are trolls, 20% are ASCII images, 10% are political vitriol, 10% are proclamations of atheism or agnosticism, and the other 10% are from the the grammar brigade.

2. I use Digg more often than I use Google. Whenever I’m bored, it’s just so easy to type “digg.com” into my Firefox or Google Chrome (but never IE) address bar.

3. Digg makes me feel like I’m part of a special club. I laugh extra hard when someone references a week-old post, because I remember it exactly. Why? Because Digg runs through my veins. Bitch.

4. I check Digg before I check my email. Ok, that’s a lie. But I check Digg right after I check my mail and before I eat breakfast or take my medicine. That’s devotion.

5. If Kevin Rose gave me Kool-Aid, I would drink it.