Next week TLC will premier their new show: “Extreme Home Makeover College Edition.” TLC Spokesman Bill Mellencamp was quoted saying that “the show’s intent is to break the pernicious stereotype that TLC is only for depressed homemakers trying to live vicariously through television programming.” In further questioning, Mellencamp went on to say that, “The S.P. house was a challenging and somewhat disheartening case. The house was in such utter disrepair.” Residents of the house were quick to assert, however, that the disarray of the building was not due to neglect; but rather a pioneering effort to “go green.”

In their selfless quest to save the environment; S.P. has neglected to make any modifications to the house. The eco-friendly brothers even chose not to install mandatory fire sprinklers so as not to “waste water.” In addition to being home to “the sickest parties,” the building is also home to a host of native species. In an effort to live symbiotically with nature; S.P. graciously permits numerous species of mold, mildew, and marijuana to grow freely throughout the residence. The brothers added that such plant life “adds a more natural feel” to a building which might otherwise be mistaken for a tenement house.

While the Sigma Pi frathouse is a gem in its own right; viewers who prize dramatic before and after shows may be disappointed. Due to budgeting constraints, TLC was only able to make “urgent revisions” to the house such as pest extermination, safety upgrades, and foundational repairs.